Feeling Overwhelmed? Make These Two Lists.

I work in real estate, so I work seven days a week. I’m constantly on the go, I barely have time to eat, I’m talking to impatient developers, trying to cheer up worried clients, launching major marketing campaigns, hosting open houses, creating social content, writing books, negotiating deals with millions of dollars hanging in the balance, trying to be a husband and a father and a brother and a son and a friend, all while trying to answer 1,000 calls and emails from people who expect a response yesterday. So, yeah, I know what panic feels like!

On most days, I wake up at the crack of dawn and embrace my insane schedule. But, some days I lose a major deal, worry I’m about to get sued or have a huge issue I’m not sure how to solve. And those are the days when I'm actually overwhelmed. When that happens, I know I need to take a moment to re-center myself, so I make a “panic list” to help calm me down.

As a kid, when I took a ball to the chest in a soccer game or was out of breath after a long run, I heard adults tell me, “Bend over and look for a rock.” When you bend over, you constrict the space between your diaphragm and your lungs, so you begin to breathe more slowly. You give yourself a chance to catch your breath and calm your mind and body. The panic list idea works the same way, but for adults who just bombed a Zoom presentation or lost a huge commission instead:

1. Don't look for a rock. Look for a pen and paper.

2. Fold it in half or draw a line down the middle.

3. On the left side, write what’s great about life; All the things you love and enjoy.

4. On the right side, write down everything that’s upsetting you.

Now, for most people, the list on the left side should FAR outweigh the list on the right. (If not, maybe you forgot to add dessert, puppies, and vacations?!) Either way, once you take a moment to stop and shift your mind from “panic” mode to “action” mode, you distract yourself from the loop of overwhelming, negative thoughts that takes over. Your breathing slows down, you realize things will be OK, and you remember that you have so much to appreciate and look forward to. You remember that life is much bigger than this one, rough moment.

The human brain is wired to focus on panic. It’s that old fight-or-flight response that’s been part of our DNA since the caveman days: We perceive a threat, our body releases adrenaline, and our brain focuses entirely on the issue as we prepare to either fight or flee. Despite millions of years of evolution, that fight-or-flight response hasn’t changed; What has changed is the source of our panic. Instead of hunting lions, we have high-stakes presentations. We have life-changing interviews, multi-million-dollar deals, and people who rely on us. When a client freaks out, a deal goes awry, and you start panicking that you’re going to get fired/sued/laughed out of the industry… stop and make these two lists. It works for all sorts of situations. Try taking a moment to make a “panic list.” You’ll short-circuit that fight-or-flight response and get your brain back to a calm, functional state quickly.